Responding to Beta Reader Feedback
An example from one of my WIPs
This article by Jessica Barberi sparked an online discussion with The Bloodied Quill that really has made me stop and rethink some things:
Always wonderful when these things happen. And a challenge to me. How different did I make my character—or even the manuscript—based on a beta reader’s feedback?
First, here’s some of the exchange:
Edited to include only the pertinent remarks.
Me: Interesting, and some salient points. We writers have to communicate our ideas effectively yet not worry if some people don’t get it. They will always be out there. Some read my first draft of a WIP (that has since undergone extensive rewriting) and found a character that I considered insignificant to be the most memorable and interesting. Hee! I have since pared him down a bit and made him a bit more pathetic, as he is intended to be, while building up a character who becomes quite central in ensuing WIPs in that series.
The Bloodied Quill: Sounds like that character was good. Shame to change.
Me: As the author’s post points out, that character was not coming across as I intended, so I had to change him. He’s still basically the same, just not as prominent. He’s a tool of a character that is now more visible. And he’s a contrast to another character who is truly heroic. I think it works much better. Haven’t finished editing to show a beta reader, though.
TBQ: Sure, I get that. Just would have been interesting to explore how the character ended up, would probably alter the story you wanted to tell, but I found it interesting that that happened automatically during the original writing process.
Me: Yeah, having him seem too prominent did distract from the point of the story, and I’m happy that reader brought it to my attention. What’s amazing to me is that this correction resulted in my rethinking the whole WIP. As a result, it has grown from around 150k to 243k so far.
The Feedback from a Beta Reader
Beta readers come in all shapes and sizes. This one has been a friend of my hubby for years. Philosophically, we three have a lot in common. Asking him to be a beta reader, therefore, seemed like a good idea since the manuscript in question is chock full of philosophy. Unfortunately, his work schedule was rather hectic. We didn’t get feedback until he had retired (about four years later). By then, I had done an extensive rewrite of this manuscript, drafted a dozen or so more in what had grown into a series, and had written a couple dozen short stories (some that are now published in my first two books). So most of his quite detailed feedback no longer applied. In fact, we had told him this before he bothered to read the manuscript and do the write up.
Anyway, since he took the time, I took some time and read through his notes, found most of it not the least useful, considered one or two items, and actually made a change in one minor area.
The piece that struck me most, though, was his comment on what I regarded as a very minor character. His take on that character:
Eddie [Crossman] and his sleazy shenanigans did intrigue me, and I was always eager to read about whether or not he would succeed, or how Jim [O’Connell] would counter his crap. You might say Eddie’s subterfuge really provides fuel to drive the story forward.
Oh, dear. To use a movie analogy, a minor supporting actor took over the film. That wasn’t what I, the author, had wanted or intended. Or was it? Is The Bloodied Quill right? Should I let this character strut his stuff a bit more? I’m the writer, right? Well, yeah, but frankly Eddie’s tricks are being done at the behest of someone whom the beta reader barely noticed. To me that is the real problem. The instigator is too hidden from the reader, a problem I wouldn’t have seen without this feedback, even though it took four years to reach me (a good case for you writers to stop rushing your work into publication).
Another problem was the structure of the novel. I was doing something different: a string of chapters that were in themselves little stories that built up into one big story. Obviously, it didn’t work too well, partly because my foray into fiction at that time (I did the first draft in 2019) had consisted of poetry and short stories, so that’s how my mind tended to go in spite of me having been an avid reader all my life. Fixing this was the focus of my rewriting efforts which are still ongoing in-between working on other stories and novels, plus articles like this one.
The Comparison
In the original version (about 150k words), Eddie has a whole chapter devoted to him. I have spread most of that (he’s supposed to be a minor character after all) out to fit a timeline. One event was him hiring a man named Tom Summers who has a Masters in Animal Husbandry as a clerk in the hardware store that Eddie inherited from his father. Eddie treats Tom badly, putting down his education, sneering that Tom was just one of his minions now. This whole thing interrupted the narrative which is mainly between three characters: Rose Wilson, Jim O’Connell, and Sid Minot, the instigator. Sid is using Eddie to go after Rose as a way to go after Jim who likes Rose. Got all that? Anyway, now Eddie’s treatment of Tom has a cursory mention, as it should (remember, he’s a minor character).
Along the way, I ended up showing more of Eddie getting marching orders from Sid and carrying them out. So, frankly, he’s probably still as much of a presence, despite his minor role. Maybe that beta reader was right. But Eddie fits into the timeline better now, as do other characters. I haven’t finished my review/rewriting, though. I’m up to chapter 11 out of 38. And the word count is now 246k. So things could change even more.
And that brings me back to the exchange with The Bloodied Quill. In essence, the problems with Eddie appearing to be too prominent (more than I wanted, that is) were the structure and in a way me thinking of him as minor. In reality, he’s key to a lot of the action, something the beta reader perceived clearly. Sid couldn’t have caused nearly as much mayhem without Eddie, and Eddie’s failure to achieve the results Sid wanted were key in that other character, Peter Thorn, entering the picture.
See some of my other articles mentioning the Peter Thorn character:
Authors and Readers as Philosophers (character mentioned about halfway down)
Characters Make the Story on Substack (in the section “Character Naming – What a Pain!”)
Having a Character Do Something You Wouldn’t or Couldn’t (under “A Few Examples”)
One More Thing
The same beta reader asked me what a Shopsmith is. I’m guessing you’re asking me that, too. (Don’t feel bad. My hubby doesn’t know either.) And that brings up this issue: when does an author explain something in fiction? If this were non-fiction, I would simply put in a footnote or endnote. Can’t remember if Jessica addressed this in her article referenced above. My personal take here is to be sure it is clear in the narrative or in dialog what a Shopsmith is, especially since I mention it as part of another character’s workshop. It is one thing to use words that readers have to look up. It is another to reference an object that readers can’t relate to. Kinda spoils things.
Bottom Line
Jessica’s article led me to think about that beta reader’s feedback again. The Bloodied Quill’s response to my comment on that article led to more thinking which led to this article. But that’s Substack.
The beta reader’s feedback led me to address something crucial, even though I didn’t realize it at the time. The story is still very much mine, but that input refined it.
Even so, we authors have to be very careful how we take any reader feedback. Sort the wheat from the chaff and see where it leads.
Best wishes on your writing (and reading).
My six books (so far):
I ask a small favor: if you’ve bought and/or read any of these, please post a review here or elsewhere online.
Where to Buy:
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop | BookBub | Books-A-Million | Everand | Apple Books | Kobo | Smashwords | Thalia (German) ebook & print | Angus & Robertson | Mondadori (Italian) | Vivlio (French/English) | Fable | Thriftbooks
Audible Links
Wind Down the Chimney and Other Eerie Tales
The Stardust Alliance and More
The Greeting Card Girl’s Christmas
From the Files of Fontaine Investigations
Very true.
Though judgment is needed. Sometimes the character who catches more attention should be more important. In *Spells In Secret*, albeit in the very earliest stages of taking notes and starting to poke at an outline, I knew there were four students central to the tale, but then it struck me that I was thinking of the wrong one as the main character. The other one is still there, and still major, but Kenneth is the main character.
As a fellow novelist, I found this post quite interesting. I definitely can relate. Some beta readers will tell you they love it and point out a typo on page 77, while other will act almost as content/line editors. Then it becomes a selection process because though some of it isn't relevant, there'll be quite a few gems tucked in there too.